On Night Terrors

My room in our old house in Paranaque was close to the street so I was not initially bothered when a mechanical humming noise like a motor revving broke the night's silence. The sound continued for a few minutes before things took an ominous turn. The revving sound suddenly mutated into maniacal laughter, and it seemed directed at me. I struggled to get out of bed but found that I was paralysed. I could not even scream. Even as I mustered all my strength to move just a toe or let out a small cry - I could not. Thankfully after a few minutes, I was suddenly released and I ran from my bed to the door. Though it was dark, I could discern in the corner the silhouette of a large figure. I grabbed the doorknob but could not turn it. A hot breath moved closer to me, and I felt a weight cup my hand. I think I was crying from fear by then. I was able to open the door and was welcomed by pitch black. Knowing that my mom's room was just a few feet down, I traced my hand against the wall knowing that it would eventually lead me to safety. But the wall kept going and going... and then I woke up.

From 2003 to 2005, I suffered from night terrors. Bangnungots. It got so bad that when I finally took a vacation, I set my clock on snooze mode throughout the entire night, sleeping in 10 minute intervals to ensure that I did not drift into a deep and dangerous sleep. I knew when it would occur. My body would begin to tingle, and I would panic and shake myself to stay awake. It was as if my body would fall asleep while my mind was still lucid and so I was trapped in a dream state with all my senses and faculties intact.

The first time it happened was in an apartment during my brother's wake. Sleeping on a cot next to my mom, I heard a buzzing sound and then it felt as if the air in the room popped. Suddenly, the darkness was filled with a crowd of mixed presences. I felt as if they noticed me and I literally heard a rushing sound and a weight on myself such that I could no longer breathe.

What was strange was that I was not transplanted into a dream-like world. My environment remained the same, mulling the boundary between reality and illusion. At least if I had seen a unicorn or something, I could have known that I was really asleep. But I never knew if I was awake or not.

I remember one time, it had already become so common that when I felt the tingling sensation begin to invade, I mechanically struggled and broke its power and would run to the door. But this time, it seemed that I was waking up in my dream and thinking that I was awake when I really wasn't. I remember breaking free and running to the door and passing the mirror. I had no reflection. Instead of being frightened though, I merely sighed. "&#$%. I'm still asleep," I muttered to myself and wearily walked back to my bed to try to wake up again.